Some of my work....

The Story - Part 1

Disclaimer: Before you start reading this story, please be advised that it is long. THIS is why I’m typing it. Few people know the story in its entirety. In fact, I may have forgotten a few details here and there but I will do my best to remember and share it as accurately as possible. It is a great story but it is not short. When people ask how Ken and I met, we often don’t tell it the way it really evolved because of this. But I am sharing it because it needs to be told and because I also want our daughter to know it and have, to read, whenever she wants.  Here goes……..

The Story – Part 1

            I remember exactly where I was when I got the phone call. It was the middle of December 2005, I think it was the 17th. I was a few feet, seconds, away from the railroad tracks by Jones and Blue Diamond, I lived in Las Vegas at the time. I was on my way home when my friend Ashley called me on my cell. “Did you hear about Mr. Stancil’s wife?” No, I had not heard.

I went to Santa Ana Valley High School from Fall of ’89 to Spring of ’93.  I was a decent student, grades weren’t bad, but I know I definitely enjoyed the social aspect of it far more than the academic, ha ha. My freshman year, I ran for class President and lost to Norma Garcia. Funny story:  Norma says I was snobbish as I answered her when she asked me if I was running so it was a sweet victory for her. I can share that now because after that, we became good friends. So, the following years, having learned from my mistake, I ran WITH Norma and NOT against her; she as President and I as Vice President of our class.  During our junior year, Mr. Stancil, who had been coaching the varsity boy’s basketball team, had taken over ASB.  At that time, I was dating a boy in college, Eli, and he would chaperone me so he and Mr. Stancil bonded.  Ken (Mr. Stancil) was like an older brother to Eli (more on that, later).  During my junior year, my grades suffered the consequences of my over-extended social activities and so for the following year, Mr. Stancil made me choose between Student Council and Performing Drama, because I already had too many extra-curricular activities and he was not going to allow my grades to get worse. SO, I chose performing drama and didn’t really care for Mr. Stancil much after that.  I was a bit resentful towards him; I’m not going to lie. He says that apparently I still haven’t gotten over that. He may be a little right.

I met Karen during our Homecoming dance at Los Cabs in 1992.  She and Mr. Stancil were engaged at the time.  She was beautiful.  I didn’t have too much interaction with her.  When I graduated in 1993, I had heard that she and Ken got married and lived somewhere far from Santa Ana.  Turns out they lived in Temecula and for a really long time I thought they lived in Rancho Cucamonga, I have no idea why ha, ha. To this day, Ken and I joke about it every time we pass Rancho Cucamonga. 

I moved to Las Vegas, NV in 1998.  Most of my family still lives here in Orange County but my oldest sister, Claudia, and her family, still live in Vegas.  Of course I would come down to Orange County often and sometimes I would visit Valley High to say ‘Hi’ to some beloved teachers, like Mrs. Kramer.  Sometimes, not often, I would see Mr. Stancil when I would stop by to say hi to Mrs. Wheeler.  I respected Mr. Stancil but was bitter about him not letting me be in council my last year in high school. SO, it was VERY strange to me, when God convicted my heart about Ken in December of 2005.

‘What’s going on with Karen?’ I asked Ashley.  Turns out, she was at Hoag Hospital on life support and it wasn’t looking good for her. I felt so bad for the Stancil’s. Regardless of how I felt about my senior year, I respected Mr. Stancil and Karen and my heart was breaking for them.  Ashley informed me that Ken had invited a few of his former basketball players to pay their respects to Karen before she succumbed to her illness and graduated to heaven.  When I hung up the phone with Ashley, I knew that I had to speak with Norma.  Norma and Ken were good friends.  But that night, it was late so I would have to wait till the next morning.  Besides, I had to get ready for an upcoming presentation I had at one of my realty offices. I was a sales/marketing rep for Chicago Title at the time.  The following morning, I called Norma.  She heard about the news and didn’t know what to do for Mr. Stancil.  We both felt really bad.  We knew that unless God had a miracle planned for Karen, she was going to pass that day and there was nothing we could do. I know Norma wanted to reach out to Mr. Stancil but she didn’t know what to say. I told her that there wasn’t much we COULD say, but we could reach out to him periodically to check on him after Karen’s passing.  That sounded like a good idea to the both of us so it sort of became a pact.  Karen’s celebration of life was scheduled for the 22^nd, I think, and I knew that I was not going to be able to attend because of the presentation I had coming up. I was, however, going to be driving down to CA to spend Christmas with my family just a day or so after so I told Norma I would send Mr. Stancil an email or a text.

When a loved one dies, immediately after, there are so many people around that reach out and want to do whatever they can to come alongside someone who is grieving, that’s very sweet.  After a few weeks though, when the new norm sets in for the griever, people tend to get back to THEIR normal lives but the griever is left to adjust and do life in their new normalcy.  That’s tough. I guess maybe that is why God softened my heart towards Ken.  The widower.

I had sent Ken an email expressing my condolences but I was not expecting him to answer.  I just wanted him to know that he was thought of and to send him encouragement. I NEVER saw him in a romantic light. EVER. I respected him and Karen’s marriage too much and besides, he was not my type, ha ha.  A few days had passed and I think he emailed me back.  Or maybe I sent him a text and he responded a few days later. Anyway, respond he did.  After a couple of text exchanges, he asked if we could talk on the phone, as he preferred that and texting on a flip phone was too much of a hassle and challenge for him. I said sure and then the phone rang…

            *I am going to stop here for now because he is asleep right now and I want to make sure I have most of the story correct before I share the rest of it.

My Testimony

I love to hear testimonies of how people come to Christ.  For some, it involves adversity or an “aha moment”-mine does not; it was gradual.  Thank you God.  I was raised Catholic. My mom encouraged me to go to church on Sundays and would speak to me about God, mostly to make me aware that God was everywhere and could see everything I did.  I would attend consistently, but was not moved. I did not fulfill that spiritual void.  During my high school years, a very lovely family knocked on our door one Sunday morning.  I invited them in and we got to talking.  After spending time with them week after week, I agreed to go with them to Kingdom Hall.  I went a couple of times but again left empty.  When that fizzled for me, I turned to something  else. I was studying the “Theory of Evolution” in school, and though I always believed in God, I started to believe in Darwinism.  I read somewhere that God had used the Theory of Evolution and that sounded good to me.  During that period of my adulthood, Pastor Robert Salazar from Victory Outreach (VO) and his family had moved into the house directly across from ours.  We started developing a relationship with them.  We had a swimming pool in our home so VO’s baptisms would take place at our home.  I would witness them here and there, but as a teenager I had a different agenda and was too busy for God.  I remember one evening, after the baptisms, Pastor Bobby and his wife Maria had stayed for dinner and my mom mentioned to him of my “spiritual quest”.  After conversing with them, he asked me if I believed in Jesus Christ and if I would accept Him into my heart and as my Savior.  I said yes to Christ sometime in 1993.  Although I had said yes, I was not prepared to live a life that paralleled that decision.  At my mother’s request, I attended a couple of Sunday services at VO to support our neighbors and because my uncle (a recovering drug-addict who was leading a men’s rehab home) also called VO his church home.  I did not feel like I fit in.  I felt uncomfortable there.  At that age, I was not able to understand the depth and charisma of that church.  I felt like I was not born-again or recovering from any addictions so I felt out of place.  I still wanted to find a church that was right for me. 

 After high school, I moved to Las Vegas, NV.  As a twenty-one year old, Vegas was a new “playground” for me.  I was working and making good money, had a career that afforded me special perks and a glimpse of a very desirable lifestyle.  I had access to the latest nightclubs, fancy restaurants and easily got caught up in the glitz and glamour of it all.  At the end of the day, I still felt empty.  I remember one day praying to God to lead me to a church that I could call home, where I felt I would fit in.  I literally grabbed my phone book and asked God to lead me and that is when I found Canyon Ridge Christian Church.  I went, loved it, and started attending consistently for over one and a half years.  Then, I bought a home on the other side of town and stopped attending.  My sister, who also lived in Las Vegas, would attend Central Christian Church and would invite me to join her and her family.  I went and really enjoyed it.  After going to Central a few times, I felt that this was the closest to a home church I would find.  

In 2006, I started attending Central consistently.  In 2007, I took their membership class and became a member, then began serving in the Children’s Ministry (2 & 3 yr. olds) for a short period of time.  In May of 2007, my dear friend Ken, who lived in California, invited me to Saddleback Church and I LOVED it.  I started dating Ken shortly after and considered relocating to California.  In June of 2007, I was laid off from work and made the decision to go forward with the move and the relationship.  I started attending Saddleback Church and got baptized July 22, 2007.  Although I was still living in Las Vegas and did not officially move until September when I got engaged, I would attend Saddleback whenever I was in California and would watch services online while attending “live” services at Central.  I have been at Saddleback since moving to California in September 2007, and I can say with complete confidence that this is my “home” church, where I fit in (I think, anyway. lol).  I became a member in November.

For me, being baptized was a HUGE covenant I decided to make.  God and I know the life choices I have made, the hurts, hang-ups and habits I had to overcome, the circumstances I have been in, the challenges I have had to face, and I am so grateful that I get to be a new creation in Christ.  One of my life verses is 2 Corinthians 5:17.  I take that very seriously and have worked really hard, through Christ in me, to change the person I used to be and be a new creation in HIM.  For friends and family who have known me over the years, my transformation has been shocking to most.  Not that I was a bad person or anything like that, I was just living a very self-centered life-Me, Me, Me. I am so blessed and my God loves me so much.  I don’t deserve all that He has done for me, but He blesses me anyway.  That brings tears of joy to me. I know that I couldn’t possibly do anything here on earth to earn God’s love, mercy and grace but that does not mean that I cannot show my appreciation to Him.  My husband has a t-shirt that I absolutely love.  It says, “He died for me, I will live for Him”.  I want to live a Godly life that makes our Heavenly Father proud.  I want to work for Him, and fulfill my purpose in life for Him.  I want to grow His Kingdom, and ultimately glorify Him.  I pray that one day I can get to heaven and God will turn to me, spread his arms to hug me and say, “Well done my good faithful servant”.

My wedding bouquet. November 2007